Growing up, I have experienced dichotomy in almost everything around me. Family for example has been a paradox of simultaneous cohesiveness and division. I grew up with two parents that were raised sans biological parents that vowed to break cycles and create a nurturing and Loving home they wished they had growing up. I am a true believer that breaking cycles is totally doable—the beautiful family I have is composed of cycle-breakers, it’s amazing. Taking the route to break cycles is harder and for that reason, many choose not to break them, falling prey to repeated maladaptive habits.
I grew up with polar opposite grandmothers. One grandmother, the textbook example of a nurturing woman that worked hard to give all her energy and Love to her children; she expressed Love easily. The other grandmother lacked that nurturing gene. She was stimulated more by social connections as they related to her status. She was the fun party grandma.
I see now that even in animals, some mothers lack the nurturing gene the same way some humans do too. This past week, I began bottle-feeding this cute little lamb we have named Lucky Star. She was abandoned by the mother sheep and left to fend for herself since birth. Her mother is considered a “teen mom”, a young mom and child herself. To Lucky Star, I am the only mother figure in her life. She is surrounded by her human tribe family that loves and nurtures her every need. Even though we are different, we are similar in that we speak the same Love language. Even in my own life, I have the honor of being mother to a beautiful young adult I inherited when I began dating my husband and two amazing little ones I had the honor to carry in my womb. Even though they came into my life differently, I care for them the same.
There is a lot of pressure to be the “perfect” parent. As parents, we may be measured by how much sugar or processed food we give the children or how much screen time they watch. I grew up in the 80’s in an era that was very family-oriented, an era where there was MTV and dinner at the table with the family—a juxtaposition of both worlds.
I was feeling frustrated one day and during meditation I received a download saying, “Instead of waiting around for the mother you wished you had, be that mother to your daughter right now.” These words hold so much truth. This mindful approach has aided me in aligning myself to a higher purpose that is Devine and not those of societal norms.
I understand what drives humans nowadays to not want to have children. For those humans, my advice is, “Don’t have them.” Being a parent is not always easy as children put huge mirrors in front of ourselves to reflect and model exactly what they see. Now, if we are able to navigate through those moments’ sans judgement and victimization, we may see that aligning ourselves with these reality checks simply connect us deeper to our best and highest selves.
I received a message by this powerful and amazing healer over the weekend during an oracle reading, “Be the mother to the inner child within you”. I couldn’t agree more. It is true, we have that inner child within us that also craves the Love and nurture it deserves from a Mom. Even as someone who no longer has their Mom, or whom never had a mom, or a male or a child missing their mom, we ourselves may offer that nurture and care we deserve. By doing so we are tapping into our Devine Feminine energy allowing ourselves to receive. I invite you to practice Loving and nurturing your inner child at any given moment that is necessary and deserving.